I guess this is just going to be another quick post. I'm literally trapped in my room most of the time, with focusing on studying or feeling nauseous for unexplained reasons (probably my messed up sleep schedule and lack of amount of meals per day). It's pretty bad. But anywho, I find myself locked in my own body and world, unable to really escape all of the things that are chaining me down. My anxiety alone prevents me from functioning like a normal person; I can't do anything outside of my comfort zone with having a possible anxiety attack...watching horror movies or even action movies have started to cause them, it's getting that pathetic. Unfortunately, since I'm on a college campus with limited access to anyone who could help me, I'm stuck dealing with it on my own. I miss the sound state of mind that I had last year. Granted, I was stuck in a state of depression for a solid 4 months, but at least I wasn't afraid of dying at any point during the day. It's the biggest obstacle I've ever had to deal with, though I'm grateful it's not anything more severe...though one never knows (I'm also a huge hypochondriac). Like an iris in winter, I'm trying to endure the cold of this world along with my own personal problems and live the best life I can, though at the moment I'm doing a terrible job by holing myself up in my room. It truly hurts me to know that I'm restricted by my own terrible thoughts and over exaggerations.
Well, looks like it's almost five. Thank god I dont have to get up until 12:30 or so. I'll write again when I have more time.
Rayne
No comments:
Post a Comment